Posts Tagged ‘personality’

We tend to think negatively more than thinking and finding the positives in our lives, we are quick to think negatively and tell ourselves we are bad and shouldn’t do things, we can talk ourselves out of doing things, we judge ourselves and therefore our self worth suffers, we don’t think we can do certain things so put ourselves down, when in reality we are more than capable of doing things we just choose not to. The result is that opportunities are missed and choices get chosen for us.

We change and influence our lives by our feelings and when we are stuck in negative thinking, it can cause further damage to our self esteem and our confidence. Here are a few ways we put ourselves down and talk ourselves out of doing what we are capable of doing:

Repeating past experiences

People sometimes find that if they do something and get a certain result then there is nothing they can do to change that result should they find themselves in the same situation again. The outcome however can be changed by looking at the result with a different perception, you and only you can change the future. By thinking more positively and ignoring and avoiding negative thinking, the outcomes will become more positive.

Self Talk

Self talk plays a big part in our lives whether this be negative or positive, it helps us to make decisions, and it influences our lives a lot. Negative self talk can result in a negative outcome.

Reflecting

We sometimes spend too long looking at the past, mostly in a negative manner, but it doesn’t mean that you are back to square one. It means you have taken an option and gone a different route, however if you want to get back to the route you where on then you have to realise where you went wrong and think of positive ways you can get back there.

Practising positive thinking

If you have spent years thinking negatively at yourself, the world around you, your life etc, then these conditioning’s will make thinking and acting positively harder but not impossible, its about changing your habits and thinking more positively, unfortunately this wont happen overnight and may take some time. Its about changing your habits.

By paying more attention and persevering with your thoughts you can change your thinking. By visualising yourself as a confident, happy person you can begin to see yourself as this person. Now unfortunately you will have days where you feel down and cant be bothered, but see this day as a blip, one that can be forgotten about and you can try again tomorrow.

Its a horrible place to be in when you are feeling suicidal, you cant see anyway out or any future; life just doesn’t seem worth living. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, you don’t have to go through with any thoughts or feelings that you are currently experiencing, remember these are just thoughts they are not facts and you do not have to act on them.

That being said, I know how it feels to be in this excruciating mental pain, and I know what it feels like to act on the thoughts and nearly complete suicide. What I wish I had back when I made the near fatal attempt is some wise words, some hope. Click Here READ ME FIRST!! this website isn’t for distraction but to ask you to read it first before making any decision. To take a step back for a moment. Had I known about this website back then, would I have made the attempt, I don’t know.

Hope that this post and linked website is able to help when you are feeling distressed, overwhelmed and feel you have no way out.

This is something i learnt when i first did DBT back in 2008. Its rather effective in how it works.

Sit back and relax your face from the top to your chin and jaw, let go of each facial muscle and feel everything becoming loose. Your forehead, eyes, brows, cheeks, mouth and tongue; teeth slightly apart. If you have difficulty, try tensing your facial muscles first and letting them go. A tense smile is a grin and might tell your brain you are hiding or masking your real feelings.

Let both corners of your lips go slightly up, just so you can feel them. It is not necessary for others to see it. A half smile is slightly upturned lips with a relaxed face.

Try to adopt a serene facial expression. Remember, your face communicates to your brain; your body connects to your mind.

So basically when you do a half smile the brain believes you to be in a calmer happier place and therefore you begin to feel calmer and happier.

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