Posts Tagged ‘emotional’

This is something i learnt when i first did DBT back in 2008. Its rather effective in how it works.

Sit back and relax your face from the top to your chin and jaw, let go of each facial muscle and feel everything becoming loose. Your forehead, eyes, brows, cheeks, mouth and tongue; teeth slightly apart. If you have difficulty, try tensing your facial muscles first and letting them go. A tense smile is a grin and might tell your brain you are hiding or masking your real feelings.

Let both corners of your lips go slightly up, just so you can feel them. It is not necessary for others to see it. A half smile is slightly upturned lips with a relaxed face.

Try to adopt a serene facial expression. Remember, your face communicates to your brain; your body connects to your mind.

So basically when you do a half smile the brain believes you to be in a calmer happier place and therefore you begin to feel calmer and happier.

Wake up will I be normal today
With racing thoughts going so fast
Up and down my moods shift
Minutes and Hours rapidly change

I can be happy but then a sudden flash
And rage pure and evil
I love you yet I hate you too
Set myself up for the hurt

I go by perceived perception
That is my truth that is what I believe
Logic and rational behaviour does not exist
Wear my emotions on my sleeve

I cant control how I feel
This is all I know how to be
Yes I want to try to be different
But how can you change who you are

I hate when I’m left alone
I feel like ive been abandoned
Family hurt me
Rejected never did I fit in

I cry with the slightest thing
Hate criticism even praise
Dont like to be judged
I do that myself

Used to hurt myself because I need punishment
Its the only way I can cope
Cant do that anymore
Have to be responsible

No one likes me anyway
Why should I care my head shouts
Yet my heart whispers you do
I suffer every day

People are out to get me
Hurt me and destroy who I am
No one can I trust
Yet I long for to be loved

When I feel threatened by others
I panic and fear takes over
My heart races and it hurts
Adrenalin overwhelms my body

When I cry its with such force
I struggle for breath and hyperventilate
My world comes crashing down around me
And all I want to do is hide away

Try to fit in and will do anything
Lie to make me seem right
Manipulative, I don’t want to be alone
Hate everything that I am

Who am I I constantly ask
No identity, empty inside
Need to be someone else to be liked
Run away from myself

Impulsive nature, spend like no tomorrow
I laugh yet cry at the same time
Change my look, everything just to be liked
Impressionable to a severe degree

So scared of being rejected and abandoned
I twist everything I hear, perceived to be hatred for me
Up go the barriers must protect myself
Hurt those I most care about

Only those who really know me
See this for what it really is
Those who don’t just see an emotional wreck
An un-repairable write off.

©www.battlingbpd.org

I believe this post will be about rejection and associated fears.

This is the situation I have had today. I text a friend this morning asking if she would like to come over this afternoon. I got no response, so when I see that she is with her other friend, I got very upset and sent an angry text message to her. Instantly regretting it once I had sent it. At the same time my Care Coordinator arrived with someone else from the team shadowing her. We discussed what had happened, my care co was sure that things would be ok, I wasn’t so sure. I felt she didn’t want to be around me. Through the session I received a text message back, fearing what it would say I read it and it was a really nice message. My friend said about the signal in her home. Instantly I burst into tears. I had completely forgotten that she has rubbish signal. I felt and still do feel guilty. All I want to do right now is bombard her with texts saying I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt her or lose her as a friend.

I know the skills so that this sort of incident doesn’t happen, but I didn’t use it, instead I let emotional mind get the better of me.

This is what I should have done.

-look at all possible scenarios and reasons, like she hadn’t received the text, that she was busy and had read the text but forgotten about it, that she didn’t have signal.
-not send the text that I did, instead asking if she had received the text this morning and if she was up to coming round
-radically accept that the possible scenarios do happen and that even if she didn’t want to be around me, that that is ok too.

This is what I am doing now.

-writing this post so that others can see my mistake and my workings through using a mini chain analysis.
-not bombarding my friend with texts
-accepting that what happened, happened.
-using mindfulness to help reduce the strength of some emotions I am currently feeling.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox

Join other followers: