Why is it that we feel guilty for doing something good about ourselves, whether it be doing something simple as getting bathed and dressed in the morning even pushing to put a little make up on, or whether it be going out with friends. This past weekend I went out with friends on our boat. I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the time. But now I’m feeling guilty.

We can accept all the negative emotions, everything bad, after all that is what we believe we deserve. But having something good happen to us and we are out of our comfort zone. How can someone be nice to us. We don’t know how to respond. Not being judged and being allowed to be ourselves seems a dream to us, so when actually that dream does come true your left thinking that its not going to last, and thus the rejection fears become strong.

Feeling emotions that are positive in nature can feel somewhat alien to ourselves. Its scary to feel something good. We know crying and sadness, but happiness and laughter, they can be strange. A day where we actually feel good about ourselves, we wish would stay but we know that the likelihood is that the happy feeling wont even last the day where our moods can be so volatile.

Taking some time to step out of the situation has helped me, so try to look at the situation through someone else’s eyes. Ask yourself why shouldn’t I be happy? I deserve to be happy. I am good, people do like me, I am a likeable person. In DBT this is part of cheerleading exercise. Thoughts are not facts, so next time your mind jumps to a conclusion do this exercise and see how it helps you.

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