Archive for the ‘Chain Analysis’ Category

I believe this post will be about rejection and associated fears.

This is the situation I have had today. I text a friend this morning asking if she would like to come over this afternoon. I got no response, so when I see that she is with her other friend, I got very upset and sent an angry text message to her. Instantly regretting it once I had sent it. At the same time my Care Coordinator arrived with someone else from the team shadowing her. We discussed what had happened, my care co was sure that things would be ok, I wasn’t so sure. I felt she didn’t want to be around me. Through the session I received a text message back, fearing what it would say I read it and it was a really nice message. My friend said about the signal in her home. Instantly I burst into tears. I had completely forgotten that she has rubbish signal. I felt and still do feel guilty. All I want to do right now is bombard her with texts saying I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt her or lose her as a friend.

I know the skills so that this sort of incident doesn’t happen, but I didn’t use it, instead I let emotional mind get the better of me.

This is what I should have done.

-look at all possible scenarios and reasons, like she hadn’t received the text, that she was busy and had read the text but forgotten about it, that she didn’t have signal.
-not send the text that I did, instead asking if she had received the text this morning and if she was up to coming round
-radically accept that the possible scenarios do happen and that even if she didn’t want to be around me, that that is ok too.

This is what I am doing now.

-writing this post so that others can see my mistake and my workings through using a mini chain analysis.
-not bombarding my friend with texts
-accepting that what happened, happened.
-using mindfulness to help reduce the strength of some emotions I am currently feeling.

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